Graphic Novel Review: Lavender Clouds – Comics about Neurodivergence and Mental Health
Author: Bex Ollerton
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 144
Publish Date: June 25, 2024
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Catalog ID: ISBN: 978-1524890278
Where to buy: https://bookshop.org/lists/recently-reviewed-on-graphicmedicine-org
Author website: https://schnumn.com/
Review
by Soph Myers-Kelley
Lavender Clouds: Comics about Neurodivergence and Mental Health by Bex Ollerton is what feels like the spiritual sequel to Sensory: Life on the Spectrum – An Autistic Comics Anthology even though that is not the case. Sensory: Life on the Spectrum is an anthology edited by Bex Ollerton, containing the works of dozens of autistic artists, whereas Lavender Clouds is a piece wholly her own. As such, this piece is distinctly her own art style—focusing on the pink haired character that represents herself (complete with many, many dark circles under her eyes) and the ethereal, soft, funky colors she uses to depict her world to us.
Ollerton writes in the acknowledgments that she had written these comics during a time where she felt directionless and lost. Writing was a way through these feelings, for her. That was something that I could tell while reading the comics; it was clear that Ollerton was experiencing burnout, depression, and symptoms of autism & ADHD at the time of her writing. I know this because I too, experience many of these things. Ollerton painfully and accurately portrays some of the experiences neurodivergent people might have, like struggling to make a phone call (or receive one), fatigue, skin and nail picking, or stimming by chewing one’s shirt neckline, inadvertently ruining it. She also shows the absolute incapacitation of decision paralysis when there’s too much to do and you are frozen in place, unable to take any action, or the dread of receiving so many emails at once, or even the self-doubt and self-effacement one feels from not “being enough”. She depicts autistic scripting—where one depends on pre-learned, often practiced social scripts in order to feel a sense of certainty and comfort. These are most often used in socially uncomfortable situations for the person, such as talking with a coworker, being introduced to a stranger, or troubleshooting a technical issue with a customer service person.
Ollerton expresses a feeling that many neurodivergent people have; the feeling of being perpetually behind, overlooked, and of feeling so, SO burned out beyond belief. We get to experience her doubts, passions, fears, and concerns firsthand. A unique feature of the book is that she is by-in-large the sole character. She shows us how she feels and might deal with other people by engaging in conversation with herself—literally depicting two of herself on the page. Her many vignettes mean that the pacing is quick and it’s easy to pick this book up, read a few pages, and set it down for later at the coffee table or nightstand.
Ollerton writes on one page adorned with three blooming plants at the top of a cabinet and exposed to the sun, while a non-blooming plant is on a shelf below with no access to direct sunlight: “I often feel like I’m so far behind everyone else. But even if we’re the same age, we haven’t necessarily had the same time. Disability, trauma, and recovery have taken so much time from me that I’ll never get back. I’ve grown at my own pace and I’m following my own path.” (118) Ollerton helps those who know neurodivergent people to be gentle on their companions. And for those of us who are neurodivergent, she reminds us to be gentle on ourselves. We are often too hard on ourselves because we so often don’t feel we meet the basic expectations for living life, especially as autistic, ADHD, depressed, anxious, or otherwise adults. This is a beautiful example of the resilience and strength neurodivergent people express when they share their struggles.
______________________________________________
Soph Myers-Kelley is a medical librarian, herbalist, and activist living in North Carolina. They can be contacted at https://www.smyerskelley.com/ and followed at https://www.instagram.com/thesofakingofficial/